Introduction – I am not finished

I will not allow receiving my Compostela to interfere with the rest of my life.

Say whut? That seems like an odd way to explain what is happening on my Camino Blog and seniorpilgramage website updates, but it really sums up a large part of where I am psychologically and emotionally.

The story thus far

El Camino de Santiago has been a huge factor in my life for half a dozen or more years. It has been the focal point for my diet and exercise routine, the proverbial carrot promising that my work and sacrifice would be rewarded if only I kept on. Planning the next leg of my Camino Journey has been an interesting and educational hobby. Sharing stories of our Journey’s with other pilgrims has been an unending delight. Investigating hiking and camping gear, even though I want to spend every night inside, has been fascinating.

Then, suddenly, there it was

Arriving in Santiago was never part of my thinking, however. From the long-forgotten day that my interest in the Camino turned from vague curiosity to serious desire, perhaps six or seven years ago, until someone mentioned that I would probably arrive in Santiago as part of the 2023 leg of my Journey last winter, the concept of my pilgrimage having some sort of completion never really occurred to me.

What could, should, would arriving at the end of – something, something that I could not and cannot define – mean? Would it be a real end or only a symbolic achievement? Almost before the idea of arriving at the Cathedral took hold, ideas about “what next” began to take root in my brain: Cabo Finisterre? The earliest part of the del Norte, from Bayonne to Irún?

And then, suddenly, there I was. The bus station at Cadavedo, the sudden change in the del Norte that appeared at the 100 km mark, next the jolting shift from the quiet del Norte to the entirely unfamiliar and oh, so crowded, Francés at Arzúa.

Arrival

August 1st was World Youth Day, a major event for the Catholic Church. Not being a Catholic, I was unaware of this. While the official celebration was in Lisbon, Portugal, the Camino Frances, was mobbed with young people and had what I can only describe as a party atmosphere. As I neared the plaza in front of the Cathedral, I passed through a large archway. The busker who chose that location to play his bagpipes had no chance of a donation as far as I was concerned. My goal was speed as I fled the combination of his bagpipes and the archway’s acoustics.

The plaza was happy, noisy, musical, dance filled bedlam. Most of the celebrants were young, leading me to believe that this level of intensity was tied to World Youth Day. From what I’ve seen on the del Norte and Francés and what other peregrinos told me about the Francés, I suspect that the last 100 kilometers of the Francés and the plaza tend to be very busy throughout the busy season even without the crowd celebrating World Youth Day.

My Compostela

The next day, my wife joined me for my visit to the Pilgrims’ Office. While I have no idea what I expected this process to be like, I can write with total confidence that my actual experience was very unlike my expectation.

Automation has arrived at the Pilgrim’s Reception Office. One begins by obtaining a QR Code that establishes one’s place in the queue. For me, that was “in front,” as only a few others were there. My next step was to present myself to one of the people working behind the long counter. There, I submitted my two Camino credentials, the first beginning in Irún, the second a continuation that was needed somewhere along the Way in 2023 after sellos filled the last of the spaces in the first.

The woman to whom I gave my credentials looked at them only very briefly, opened them to the first page where my name and other information were entered and … what … “cancelled” is the only word that comes to mind. She cancelled them. Both. It was as much a finality as it was unexpected. The sound of the self-inking stamp moving and hitting those pages in that way was almost a physical blow.

I have not looked at that page on either credential since that moment. Two treasures, each carrying treasured memories in simple impressions from rubber stamps, one carried about 880 kilometers or about 550 miles … cancelled.

She then printed out my Compostela – all computerized, no handwritten certificates – and I posed for the obligatory photograph commemorating the event. Writing this now, two and a half months later, I am still grappling with the chaotic feelings those moments generated.

Then, the Pilgrim’s Office

The Pilgrim’s Office is on the ground floor and a welcome center serving light drinks and cookies to freshly arrived peregrinos is one flight up. The people staffing it are delightful. The way they helped an old and disoriented peregrino begin working through his thoughts about his Journey and arriving at its nominal destination was wonderful.

At the end of it all, after 880 kilometers (550 miles) over four separate legs; after being lost and being befriended; after injuries and pain to go with tremendous joy; after uncounted days in uncounted places; after many hours of wonderful solitude and many people along the Way; I know one thing about el Camino de Santiago, something that was already clear five years ago, on August 18, 2018.

But, I am not finished

I am not finished.